2:05
13th February 2009

It's Friday the 13th. Something good happened.
I found the truth to something, which was making me really emotional just few hours before. I'm glad that I know the truth, at least it puts a stop to my misery. At least I'll be able to pull myself together before it clashes. At least it's happening before school starts.
But.. I'm having mix feelings about knowing the truth. I might not feel as stupid if I didn't know. I might still be happy but miserable at the same time in the fake blissfulness But I'm certain that the misery will last for not sure how long if not for the truth.
I almost put my school work at risk. My brain couldn't function properly. Only a fraction of the rationale me worked.

It's the first time ever I kept such a secret.(except 2 ppl that know a little about it) Not even my best pals know about it.

I'm feeling so annoyingly stupid thinking about it.

Yet, I'm still finding excuses, when the truth had already smack right in my face, seep into my organs, seep into my bloodsteam. Slap myself hard, wake up TEO JIA PEI

I grow wiser, I grow smarter with every experience I experienced, and I'm definitely a notch wiser now. =]

NO MORE EXCUSES PLEASEEEEEEE

I'm thankful, I'm thankful that I have great friends and cousins around me.

Big girls don't cry
Jia Pei