21:23
22th May 08

Sorta emotional thoughts
"People disappoint you, but please do not disappoint yourself.
I chose, i walk and no turning back. Believe it, strife for it and ........ enjoy it." Amos
From a friend's blog.
Just thought it was pretty meaningful, but it kept me thinking.....
He also said "I'm so glad I found myself again"
When
When would it be my turn? To find myself again
I've repeated this question many times, but no answers were given, I guess there never will be.
I'm glad that steps are taken, to change the situation.
It might never happen, but I'll still pray, as I believe, miracles do happen.
People around you really makes a difference, they can make it better or worsen it. We've to live with it.
Never turning back, for I've made the decision. My own decision.

Reading through his blog, I've realised we're actually similar in some ways. A friend that I've made for less than 2 months.
"I admit, im really really stubborn.But, that's what keep me going on, and on, and on...."
Another abstract from his blog.
It's also part of what that's keeping me going on, and on, and on...
As days goes by, I feel the strength in me building up. Just like the immune system of a young body, growing into a young strong adult.
I'm happy for the change, for the power that I've gain, for all this would stay with me, till the end of the day.
Mindset, concept, mentality have changed. I realised. They were thoughts I never though I would make. But at the end of the day, I changed, I really have.
The change that came like a silent wave, picks me up, and threw me deep down in the sea, without warnings.
But I sruvived, and I saw how deep the sea could be. That's also when I realised, how big the earth is.
The experiences have made me into a better, yet worst person I've ever been.
It's contradicting, but I've learned, that that's the way it is.
I'll accept it, and I'll move on.
My kind soul had been exposed, exposed to the evil devil.
But I'll never, never ever, let it lead me to becoming a bad bad person.
The humanity in me, shall remain.
The benevolence heart shall continue to shine.


Reflections
All of a sudden, I feel like I could see through myself. See through the thoughts that were stored in the tiny little compartments of my brain.

Something really insignificant happened today. But it made me realise and reflect.
I should have respond better. Ok, it shows how low my EQ is. I've more to learn. But it really depends, depend on the people I'm dealing with.

I do things at extreme. I realise this long ago and have since, attempt to make things better.
But not everyone worth the attempt.
Argh... It's contradicting again.
I just feels that this person is just too insignificant, but it contradicts what I've just said, to not do things in extreme and have a higher EQ. Damn it.
Well oh well.

P.s I really do hope at least some of the people reading this will understand what I'm trying to put across. Lol. I don't know why.

Some updates
The last test of the semester ended on wed, together with the last presentation.
I expected myself to do better for the presentation. It just shows that preparation is very important. I feel bad, because this is a group presentation. ARGH. It's overr!!!

Tomorrow would be the last day of school for this semester. And next saturday shall be the 1st day of the exam period, and that's the day I'm taking my first paper.

OH YES. Something really important that I've missed out. I bought this really cool watch few weeks back. Damn nice. I didn't really love it when I first bought it, but the feeling grew.

Till then, my friends.
May happy thoughts be with all of you
Love and kisses
=)
Jia Pei