12:59
18th jan 2007

IT'S DECISION MAKING TIME YET AGAIN
For some people, variety may be the spice of life -- but it is adding some tension to your life right now. You are faced with some big decisions, and others may see you as having an embarrassment of riches. They can't quite relate to your stress, but that's okay. Think of this as a nice problem to have -- you really can't make a bad decision. Focus on what feels right deep in your gut, and ignore what looks best on paper.

Was surfing friendster and looked through my daily horoscope, and this is what i got. what a coincidence. confusion starts about a week ago. when i receive an email from university of sydney stating that i got into veterinary sci. although i did apply for that school i wasn't prepared to go over, i didn't thought i would get in, it was sort of a chance. so there i was contemplating if i should go over and do vet sci which i initially wanted to do or stay in perth and do something else. i would have gone straight to accept that offer if it was a year ago. but now, after working hard for a yr and a half, attending that pre vet sci course and seeing people studying their heads off just trying to get into vet sci, thinking abt the future, questioning myself what i want to do actually and the trouble and torture that i would have to go through again if i were to move over to sydney i start to ponder.
it was really a torture, no one would ever feel the way i felt, no matter how hard i explained, nobody could understand, until now the thought of it makes me fear, never wanting to go back to those days, where tears were the daily routine, looking back i thought myself as useless and not being independant enough. those feelings were alomost unbearable, suicide was occasionally on mind. luckily i had my families, friends and a very gd teacher. althought after 1 and a half years of experience and independence gained, i do not have the confidence in going into a new environment and saying 'wow i am gonna love this place, i am going to adapt fast', getting used to everything again, making new friends, going to new shopping centres, taking longer flights, study one of the most difficult course in the world, and having to stay there for the next 5 years.
5 yrs isn't long comparing that i had lived in this world for almost 19 years, but it isn't short, many things happen, things change. i am not sure of what to expect for that 5 yrs. i do not want those dramatic scene once again, making my parents going through that torture with me, feeling how helpless i am, those moments. people may think that i am so not sensible so not mature in my thinking, that i ain't independent enough because i couldn't cope with the stress that was contributed by many factors, but often we do not understand what others are feeling unless we gone through the same as them.

*CHIANG CHIANG CHIANG CHIANG*
i have to make a decision now, i narrowed down my options to 2 instead of the many that was given. should i consider myself blessed or what to be given so many options, in a sense i worked hard to achieve these options and also choose them myself, BUT I HATE MAKING OPTIONS. OKAY I AM LEARING TO.

my options
EDU: occupational therapy. this is one of the lousier schools in WA and unless i don't have a choice i would not choose it.
Curtin: physiotherapy. i wanted to study this but after being accepted i didn't like some of the citeria needed during the course of study
UWA: this is one of the well known sch in WA, medicine and dentistry was one of their more popular couse but i didn't applied for it. my 1st choice was commerce/sci, a double degree but am not interested.
Sydney: vet sci.
Murdoch: chiropratic.

so my options now is either sydney or murdoch. i wasn't given my 2nd choice for murdoch after vet sci and the rest were my 1st choice.
my guts tells me to do chiropratic and i have done lots of considerations. but still considering

my plan was vet sci or physiotherapy when i applied for these universities and the rest were backups.

studying vet sci would promise a fairly gd future, but considering the fact that i want to be back in sg after my studies, there is really nothing much i can do, if i were to stay in aus or somewhere else, i could do tons, wildlife or specialise in the different animals like horses and so on, in Singapore, the biggest option i have is to treat domestic animals, which of course was my initial plan a yr ago. of course the passion for animal is still there but i am thinking if i really want to do vet sci, i did the pre vet course and i actually dread going to it every tuesday during that period, how would i survive for 5 yrs. i could keep my own pets or even learn grooming or training of animals after my degree. i guess the main reason of me not wanting to choose vet sci is because of interest, i lost some of it, if i were to compared with some of my friends who want to do to vet sci, i am really not as eager and enthusiastic as them.

chiropratic is a health sci course, its quite similar to physiotherapy, it specialise on the spinal cord and the nervous system, like vet sci it's a 5 yrs course with a double degree. after graduating you would be a chiropratic and would be allowed to treat patients. the idea of doing this actually came quite coincidental, my aunt and uncle went to see this chiropratic and seems to get better with their ailment, and introduce many of my relatives. this aunt is actually one which most of us in the family respect, so naturally my mum would bring up the subject of my studies to her and ask for advice. also after hearing that she went to see a chiropractic i enquired more about it as i remembered vaguely that i did applied for this course. (i had so many options that i couldn't remember what i applied for except for the 1st choice of every sch). initially i didn't consider it as an option because it isn't very popular in singapore yet, i see chiropratic practice almost everywhere in WA, thinking that i won't be landing myself in something gd if i were to study it, i gave up the idea. but seems that many people including me now, thinks that the market is growing. so tadah, here comes my option.

i am actually quite certain about what i am gonna do but is still in a state of confusion.
can anyone give some advice or have anything to say?

boohoo. feeling so much better after this

JiaPei