emotional
14th oct 05
1:42
tears are flowing.. and then dripping.. suddenly miss my grand father very much.. really miss the time spend with him.. the time when he buy ice cream for us.. those lime and milk de.. the time when i share his fish.. the time when we argue abt tv.. the time when he gave us some $ after he win some at the gambling den.. the time he come and pic me from sch.. the time he pic me from piano lesson.. the time he do gardening.. the time he drinks his afternoon special milo.. the time when he joke with us.. the time when he disturb me about how i still twind my hair when i am so big.. how he distub me saying i am so old and still stick to my mum.. still remember the time when he do the 'shame shame' action.. the time when scolded us because we were too loud and noisy, but i nv like his espression then.. he looks angry and pain at the same time., he would frown his forehead. i don't know.. he have a weak hard thats y when he slps we have to be very quiet.. the time he drive us.. the time i see him watch the stock market.. i still rember once.. when i called him to pick me up from piano.. my grandma ans the phone and she forgot that the car was not available.. so he walk out to pick me up.. at that time i still did not feel anything.. we walk half way and he had to rest.. he say to take the cab in.. its not that ex.. but i told him once we board the cab we have to pay 2.40.. and i really regretted it.. i really do.. i feel so dumb.. imagine him having to walk out and walking back again.. and i didn't even feel anything.. it really makes me very sad..
tears start falling again.. haiz.. i hated the time when i see him lying on bed.. the time when he stop talking.. the time when he can only open one eye.. the time when he couldn't eat for days.. the time when i slp in the same rm with him but was in constant fear that he would leave me just like tt.. i was glad that i act stayed with him during his last few days.. i stayed to wet his lips becuas ehe couldn't drink.. seeing him suffer is something really hard.. seeing him opening one of his eys in the middle of the night.. maybe he is in pain but couldn't shout it out the way he would groan in the past.. i hated seeing him in pain on the last day.. the time when my aunt pluck out the needle which is detest.. but that means he will leave soon.. his last breath.. a loud gasping of air.. and he leave us.. everyone was devastated.. almost everyone cried.. cousins that stays with him even young ones were in griev.. i always miss him.. and i realise i start missing him more.. more then the 1st yr.. i guess my bro is the saddest among us.. he is very close with my grandparents.. he even write that he misses my grandfather in his friendster.. hmm.. everyone miss him.. he is the world best grandfather anyone would have.. i love you ah gong..
lurve
pei